Chunkie
20-12-07, 04:21 PM
I got the following by e-mail yesterday...
"The Physics of Santa Claus
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer
which only Santa has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since
Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist
children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million
according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census rate
of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes
there's at least one good child in each.
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, and assuming he travels east
to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per
second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good
children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of his sleigh,
jump down the chimnye, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining
presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up
the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed
around the earth (which, of course we know to be false but for the
purpose of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking aabout
.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not
counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31
hours, plus feeding and etc.This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at
650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of
comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space
probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer
can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming
that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2
pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is
invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can
pull no more than 300 punds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (refer
to point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal load, we cannot do the job
with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the
payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - 353,430 tons.
Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen
Elizabeth.
353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecrafts re-entereing the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per SECOND, EACH!
In short, hey will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing
the reindeer behind them, and create a deafening sonic boom in their
wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousanths
of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal* forces
17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015
pounds of force.
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve,
he's dead by now."
which did not seem very jolly to me, so I've drafted a response...
"Santa, dead?
No. He occupies an alternate reality, with portals into this one which open up, conveniently, in fireplaces.
Since this reality exists specifically to allow Santa to deliver presents, the rules of time/space which occur in THIS reality do not apply there. Indeed, we “see” Santa delivering presents only on the night of Christmas Eve, where as he experiences it as year round work.
Given the extra time he has, speed is not essential, so conventional reindeer can pull the sleigh. Given this, an overloaded sleigh is not needed either, he simply returns to see Mrs Claus after a busy working day for a hearty meal, feed the reindeer, and stock up on presents made by his team of elves.
Regarding flight by Reindeer, who says the Santa reality ground level is the same as that in this reality? What we see is merely the most logical versions of “reality” that our minds can comprehend.
The biggest question posed but un-answered by the physicists is ”What makes them think that their view of the world, so lacking in charm, romance or mystery is preferable to one in which a little bit of peaceful magic grants pleasure to millions of children before they become jaded by the killjoys who calculate that Santa is dead?”
"The Physics of Santa Claus
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer
which only Santa has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since
Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist
children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million
according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census rate
of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes
there's at least one good child in each.
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, and assuming he travels east
to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per
second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good
children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of his sleigh,
jump down the chimnye, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining
presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up
the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed
around the earth (which, of course we know to be false but for the
purpose of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking aabout
.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not
counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31
hours, plus feeding and etc.This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at
650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of
comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space
probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer
can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming
that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2
pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is
invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can
pull no more than 300 punds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (refer
to point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal load, we cannot do the job
with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the
payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - 353,430 tons.
Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen
Elizabeth.
353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecrafts re-entereing the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per SECOND, EACH!
In short, hey will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing
the reindeer behind them, and create a deafening sonic boom in their
wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousanths
of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal* forces
17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015
pounds of force.
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve,
he's dead by now."
which did not seem very jolly to me, so I've drafted a response...
"Santa, dead?
No. He occupies an alternate reality, with portals into this one which open up, conveniently, in fireplaces.
Since this reality exists specifically to allow Santa to deliver presents, the rules of time/space which occur in THIS reality do not apply there. Indeed, we “see” Santa delivering presents only on the night of Christmas Eve, where as he experiences it as year round work.
Given the extra time he has, speed is not essential, so conventional reindeer can pull the sleigh. Given this, an overloaded sleigh is not needed either, he simply returns to see Mrs Claus after a busy working day for a hearty meal, feed the reindeer, and stock up on presents made by his team of elves.
Regarding flight by Reindeer, who says the Santa reality ground level is the same as that in this reality? What we see is merely the most logical versions of “reality” that our minds can comprehend.
The biggest question posed but un-answered by the physicists is ”What makes them think that their view of the world, so lacking in charm, romance or mystery is preferable to one in which a little bit of peaceful magic grants pleasure to millions of children before they become jaded by the killjoys who calculate that Santa is dead?”